


the horror of our love

by tesselate



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Auto-Cannibalism, Body Horror, Cannibalism, Gore, M/M, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Psychological Torture, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2014-12-29
Packaged: 2018-03-04 05:54:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2954678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tesselate/pseuds/tesselate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are only four truths in the whole goddamn world. First: Tsukiyama Shuu is a cannibal. Second: Kaneki Ken did absolutely nothing wrong. Third: Kaneki Ken belongs to Tsukiyama Shuu. Fourth: Tsukiyama will kill anyone who looks at Kaneki wrong...Not that it's an imposition.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the horror of our love

**Author's Note:**

> tw: cannibalism; forced auto-cannibalism; gore; explicit violence; non-graphic rape
> 
> disclaimer: i don’t own anything related to toyko ghoul (characters, some of the dialogue was inspired by episode four of the anime, etc)...but the fic itself is mine.

There was precious little in the world Tsukiyama Shuu loved more than the taste of human flesh, and Kaneki Ken was one of those things. Since the moment he laid eyes on the college freshman through the window of a coffee shop (Tuesday, September 10th, 2013, 5:31pm; it had been partly cloudy, the wind was crisp, and the air smelled of baked goods and the impending rain) he knew that the two were made for each other. He knew they had been constructed in their mothers’ wombs – sewed together in that tender warmth; lovingly and carefully made – specifically for one another.

Tsukiyama had a sixth sense for these things.

Unfortunately it had taken a little longer than he had anticipated for Kaneki to reciprocate his feelings, but Tsukiyama was nothing if not persistent. Besides, he knew with every fibre of his damned being that Kaneki would love him eventually; the boy was simply a slow learner that was all. But that was one of the things Shuu loved about the boy.

He was slow, but he was naive and trusting.

It had been so simple to get Kaneki to trust him. The boy truly had no idea of the affection and reverence with which Tsukiyama thought of him.

The first time they spoke (Thursday, September 19th, 2013, 3:43pm; the coffee shop smelled of [what else?] coffee and cheap pastries; there was a hush over the comfortably cramped space; a sullen waitress was taking some man’s order from across the open space and an archaic man [the owner, perhaps] stood behind the counter, brewing a fresh pot) Kaneki had been wearing a white tee, black hoodie and jeans. Even dressed plainly the boy was appallingly delectable. Tsyukiyama – only wanting to look his best for the younger – wore a plum suit, blood red shirt and black tie. He slowly approached Kaneki’s table and took notice of the worn novel in his hand. They both enjoyed the same author! He could just sing with joy!

“Ah, I see you have an impeccable taste in books,” he greeted in the same voice he used on his prey. Quiet. Docile. Keep yourself removed enough to draw them in, but close and friendly enough to put them at ease.

Everything Tsukiyama did while on the hunt and around Kaneki Ken (for their first few dates at least) was completely and utterly premeditated. He knew how to draw them in. His good looks, slender but strong body, and unnatural hair colour kept the prey interested, but it was his manners and mannerisms (all of which were calculated to a tee) was what really got them. He could smile perfectly (pleasant, careful not to show too much teeth, lest the prey notice how sinister and perfectly made for tearing into human flesh they were); he knew the exact angle to tilt his head to show interest (forty-five degrees); he even knew how to control the glimmer in his eyes. It had taken innumerable hours in front of the mirror to perfect every single action, but it had all been worth it in the end; he was the most effective killer he had ever met.

The boy looked up from his book and smiled nervously. Tsukiyama was surprised (and delighted) to note that Kaneki had wide, expressive eyes. God, he could read everything in those ebony orbs. At the moment, the younger was surprised, a tad taken aback and more than a little confused – why would a stranger approach him to comment on his taste in literature?

Tsukiyama pulled out the chair opposite his ‘date’ and gestured to it with his free hand. “May I?”

Small, pleasant smile. A slight crinkling of the eyes to make the younger feel at ease. Who didn’t love a crinkly-eyed smile after all?

Kaneki was caught off guard that much was quite clear. He blinked a few times as if he was aware that he was an open book and wanted to obscure his thoughts and emotions. He then smiled softly and carefully placed the bookmark into his book.

“Of course, be my guest.”

His voice was melodic. Tsukiyama could listen to it all day. “Merci beaucoup.”

He took his seat and placed his chin in the palm of his hand. He cocked his head to the side as he examined the boy. Kaneki looked quite young, but he also had an angular face which lacked the baby fat which went hand-in-hand with youth.

“What’s your name?” He asked conversationally. He knew of course, that this boy was Kaneki Ken, but he had to keep up with formalities. How blasé it would have been if he had called the boy by his first name on their first meeting. It would have simply opened Tsukiyama up to questions he wouldn’t have been comfortable with answering.

How do you know my name? 

I followed you to your university and asked about you.

Who did you ask? 

Some girl. Inconsequential. I can’t remember her name, but she tasted like pork.

“Ah, Kaneki.” He replied quickly. The boy was a rabbit; tiny, adorable, jumpy and nervous as all hell, though. “And your name?”

“Tsukiyama Shuu.” He leaned forward to catch a whiff of the boy and froze. “What a wondrous aroma.”

Kaneki flushed a bright red and lowered his gaze to the table top. “I—uh...I tried a new cologne today. It was a gift from a friend. I’m glad it smells good.”

He had been lying; there was no artificial smell, no sting in his nose from the alcohol. He waved his hand and smiled a little, effectively casting the conversation aside. He had made a mistake – never lose control and allow the scent of the prey to get a hold of you – but he wasn’t about to let that ruin their date. He looked down at the book on the table (Monochrome of Rainbows) and smirked like the Cheshire Cat.

“You seem to be quite the bibliophile,” he noted as he smiled to himself. “Books are quite marvelous, aren’t they? With just one sentence the reader is transported into a completely different world from his own. The way I see it, novels allow the reader and the author to meld and become one. As a result, we are able to walk freely through the world of the story through the perspective of the tale teller. It is only when we fully immerse ourselves in books that we truly forget who we are.”

Kaneki’s cheeks had calmed down to their creamy colouring by the time he had reached the middle of the monologue. By the end of Tsukiyama’s speech, however, they were rosy and his eyes were wide with wonder and enchantment.

“You must really like books.” Kaneki’s voice was quiet and reserved, almost as if he were speaking to an angel.

Tsukiyama shrugged a little and flicked a speck of sugar from the table. “When I was younger, books were all I had to get me through dark and difficult times. I cannot imagine the type of person I would be now if I did not have them at that point in my life.”

“Me too!” Kaneki breathed as he leaned closer to the elder. Perfect; everything was working out just as he had planned it. “Takatsuki especially helped me. His style is delicate but eloquent. I really love the elusive way he writes.”

Tsukiyama tilted his head and made his eyes sparkle as he smiled. “I feel the same way.” He paused and furrowed his brows as if thinking about his next words of the first time. “Ah, Kaneki, there’s a bar near here owned by a friend of a friend that Takasuki has been known to frequent. Perhaps if you’d like, you could go with me one day?” 

He made sure to make his statement sound like a question to give the illusion that the other had a choice in the matter. Kaneki didn’t, of course, because Shuu knew he would agree, and even on the off chance that he didn’t, Shuu would have constructed some situation in which the boy happened to come across the bar while Shuu was standing outside. He could see it in his head...

Oh Kaneki, what a surprise to see you here. I thought you said you weren’t interested in coming! (A friendly smile, a warm welcome.)

Huh? Ah, I was just walking home from school... (A quick look around the dark city street before looking back up at Tsukiyama.) What are you doing here?

I’m here because I heard Takasuki was coming in tonight. I just stepped outside for some fresh air. Oh, Kaneki, you look so cold! Here, take my scarf. (Off comes the scarf. A small step into Kaneki’s personal space. His fingers would linger against the creamy expanse of the boy’s neck as he wraps the scarf around him.)

Ah! (A delicious blush.) N-no, you don’t have to do that... 

At least come inside then, and warm up a little. (He would make it sound like a request, but of course it would be an order.)

Kaneki would deliberate, perhaps worry his lower lip between his teeth and think about all the readings and homework he would doubtlessly have.

I’ll buy you a drink. Just a few minutes can’t hurt. Besides, you might get to meet Takasuki. 

Kaneki wouldn’t fight it after that. He would break and go inside with him where Tsukiyama would get the boy drunk enough to let him run his lips along the neck his fingers had run across a mere hour ago.

“Yeah,” Kaneki agreed, pulling Shuu from his reverie, “I’d love to.”

Hook. Line. Sinker. 

The two went on countless dates after that, each of which Tsukiyama remembered with startling clarity. With each passing encounter (the first five of which were mere coincidences, of course) Tsukiyama fell harder and harder. The rosy tint to the boy’s cheeks whenever he was complimented, the way his face would brighten whenever they met; everything about the boy was positively perfect. 

Wednesday, December 18th, 2013, 8:47pm, Kaneki Ken not only allowed Tsukiyama to kiss him for the first time, but also agreed that they were boyfriends. Snow slowly drifted from the ebony sky above the two; they had just finished watching one of Kaneki’s favourite movies at an old, run down theatre and were walking home. Tsukiyama always insisted on walking Kaneki home, but was also stopped at least one block away as if the younger was embarrassed by his home.

On that night, however, Tsukiyama was able to stand right in front of the other’s door.

“This is my stop,” Kaneki said quietly as he fished keys out of his pocket. “Thank you for paying for my ticket, Tsukiyama, you didn’t have to do that.”

It had been two months that they had been going on these little dates, but Kaneki still hadn’t admit what it was out loud. Shuu knew, however, that Kaneki really did like him and he would be comfortable with the use of the word, so he slipped it in there.

“I always pay for my dates, Kaneki.” He replied smoothly while he brushed the backs of his fingers against Kaneki’s. 

The younger looked up at him with wide, surprised eyes. He had stopped breathing for a moment (Shuu could tell because the near constant white puff in front of the boy’s mouth had disappeared) and swallowed hard.

“I mean...” Shuu averted his gaze, pretending to be embarrassed as if he had made some sort of blunder. “I’m sorry, I...”

He watched as the younger blushed even darker (his nose and cheeks were already rather red thanks to the unnaturally nippy temperature outside) and shook his head. Kaneki was playing right into his hands. God, he loved how naive the boy was.

“N-no...I thought of it as a date too.” Kaneki stated. Rather brave for his little bunny.

Shuu was delighted and allowed his smile to reflect as much. “I’m glad.” He paused for a moment and licked his lips. He took a small step closer to the boy, effectively trapping him against the door. “Kaneki, there’s been something I’ve been thinking about all night. Now that you’ve said that I think I finally have enough courage to ask.”

Where was his Oscar? The standing ovation? His performance was so spot on he was giving himself chills. Or was it the proximity to the boy he had loved for longer than he himself even knew that was causing his hairs to stand up on end?

“Yeah?” Kaneki’s eyes flickered to Shuu’s lips, pulling a small smirk from the elder. It was almost as if his little Kaneki could read his mind. They were so perfectly matched he just wanted to sing.

He moved in a little closer, leaning his head down so their lips were inches apart. “May I kiss you?”

Instead of using words to answer, Kaneki closed the distance between them which surprised even Shuu. He was acting far more forward than usual. Perhaps the boy wanted him more than he had thought or noticed. He smirked against the other’s plump lips and cupped his jaw in his hand (it fit perfectly, of course).

It was as if the heavens had opened up above them. Angels burst forth from the clouds, belting out heavenly choirs in Tsukiyama’s mind. The electricity which always ran through Shuu when he was around Kaneki became a thousand times more powerful than even he had expected. It drove him to new extremes, it made him mad with lust, but like a gentleman, after a few moments he pulled away again.

The two shivered – whether from the chill of the air or from what they had just done (the contract they had just sealed) neither knew – and stared at each other with goofy grins on their faces.

“I have class tomorrow,” Kaneki said, breaking the silence between them, “but maybe when I’m done I’ll call you and we can do something?” He sounded so hopeful. The bunny was starting to become more comfortable in his surroundings. It was as if he was completely unaware that he had just kissed the snake in the garden.

Shuu placed a kiss (the pressure lighter than the wings of a moth) to the corner of the younger’s lips and smiled lazily. “I await your call with baited breath, Kaneki. Or should I call you my boyfriend now?” He teased.

He had been expecting the boy to blush and half-heartedly deny the new title. Kaneki always fibbed and pretended he didn’t like Shuu’s advances even when he really, really did. It was their little game.

“I thought we already were.” Kaneki replied with a playful smile as he closed the door behind him.

Shuu stood there on the welcome mat alone in the winter night, his mouth hanging open like some Neanderthal. Did that really just happen? He let out a loud, barking laugh before changing Kaneki’s contact name in his phone from Kaneki-kun to Boyfriend-kun with a heart-eyes emoji beside it.

Everything in Shuu’s life was perfect. 

The two continued to go on dates (though this time both acknowledged them as such) and text each other at all hours of the night. Tsukiyama wasn’t sure how it was possible, but he was even more in love with the boy than he had been when he first saw him. They spent New Year’s Eve together, ringing in 2014 with a kiss, their lips tasting of liquor and the anticipation of their futures.

It was that evening, Wednesday, January 1st, 2014 that they first made wine-addled love. Hands explored uncharted territory, attempting to tattoo their handprints to their partner’s flesh. The sounds of skin slapping against skin and Kaneki’s delicious whines filled Tsukiyama’s bedroom and echoed on forever in his mind. Every breath Kaneki took went directly into Shuu’s lungs and vice versa; all either one could taste was the other. When Tsukiyama ran his tongue up the other’s hickie-riddled neck he tasted the salt of the younger’s flesh and himself from previous kisses.

Every single one of their actions – each buck of Kaneki’s hips, every nip at the boy’s skin – moved them closer and closer to their crescendo. Kaneki tugged at Tsukiyama’s matted hair as the two finally reached fortissimo, crying out each other’s names before melding together and becoming a mass of tired limbs. After a few sweet, expertly placed kisses on both of their parts, the two fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Thursday, January 2nd, 2014 1:27pm Tsukiyama woke up to a cold bed. He ran a hand through his hair and slowly sat up as the night’s events slowly came back to him. He smiled to himself and picked up the note Kaneki had left on his pillow. 

I’m really sorry I’m not there! There was an emergency!  
I’ll meet you back here for dinner about seven-ish? I’ll make it up to you, promise!  
Kaneki

Tsukiyama spent the day in his house, cleaning and other miscellaneous things to pass his time. He had stripped the bed after his morning shower, but he had made sure to keep the pillow case Kaneki had used out of the wash. Throughout the day he would stop what he was doing to press it against his face and inhale deeply. (How the younger managed to constantly smell so aggravatingly delectable, he’d never know). 

It wasn’t until 7:35pm that night when Kaneki showed up at his front door. 

“Tsukiyama, I’m so sorry I left, my friend Hide had an emergency and he didn’t know who else to turn to so he called me so I wen—.” Realizing the younger was going to continue to ramble until he ran out of breath, Shuu placed his index finger on the boy’s lips and smiled sweetly.

“It’s fine. I know you, Kaneki, I know you wouldn’t just leave for no reason. Now come on in, I already ordered from your favourite Chinese place.” His voice was quiet, subdued. He was going to tell Kaneki how he felt. He knew the younger would reciprocate his feelings – he’d finally waited long enough, God knew he deserved to hear those words. 

The two spent the night on the couch, watching whatever was on television – not really paying attention to it as all that mattered to them was the ability to spend time with one another uninterrupted – and eating the Chinese food directly out of the take out boxes. Tsukiyama would occasionally feed the younger playfully causing Kaneki to blush and avert his eyes. About the third time it happened, Shuu caught the younger’s chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing the boy to look at him.

“I love your eyes, Kaneki.” He breathed, staring into those orbs and smirking when the cheeks below them turned a light pink.

Tsukiyama took pride in his ability to embarrass the younger. He exercised this ability whenever he saw fit (which was probably more frequently than he should, of that he would admit). It was mostly to see that blush – the perfect dusting of rose across the boy’s cheekbones – that drove him to do it so much. Had Kaneki not been so infuriatingly cute, he wouldn’t do it so often. He’d still do it, God he’d still do it, but not a much (possibly).

“Ah, Tsukiyama, you’re embarrassing.” The boy laughed sheepishly and tried to stifle a delighted smile.

Now was the time.

“Kaneki, I’m in love with you. I have been for a while. You’re just so beautiful, bashful,” he paused for a moment to steal a tender kiss, “and I want to spend as much time as possible with you, so I’d like you to move in to my house as soon as possible.”

Kaneki gaped like a fish so Shuu let go of his chin. Still his jaw hung open in shock. Tsukiyama knew the younger was trying to formulate his response but that his head was clouded with random words. Perhaps his confession would come out as “Too. Me. You. Love. Also. As well." How cute that would be.

“Tsukiyama...I...I think I should go.” Kaneki set his take out box on the coffee table and got up to leave.

What?

Tsukiyama grabbed onto the other’s wrist and stood up to face him. “Kaneki? Where are you going? You have to tell me you love me too.”

The younger stared at the floor and furrowed his brows together tightly. “I, uh...Tsukiyama this is all moving a bit fast. I need more time before I can reciprocate your feelings. I’m sorry.”

Too fast?

They had been officially dating since mid-December! They’d been seeing each other since September for Christ sake. How could the younger possibly need more time? Did he not feel the same immediately connection when they spoke for the first time that fateful Thursday? They were made for one another, how could he have not felt that? What in the hell was the boy talking about? Who did Kaneki think he was?

“Ts-Tsukiyama, you’re hurting me.” Kaneki’s voice came out quiet as he tried to pry his arm from the elder’s grasp.

On instinct, Tsukiyama let go and grit his teeth together so tightly he swore he could hear it echoing throughout the disturbingly quiet house. He held his hands in fists at his side as he watched Kaneki bow to him and move to leave. He thought he was leaving? Oh hell no. Non, non, non. Kaneki wasn’t going anywhere until he said it too. Tsukiyama grabbed the first thing his hand could reach and threw it at the other’s head. He watched as the lamp shattered against the younger’s head, the shrapnel flying all about the room as the ebony haired boy toppled to the ground, unconscious. 

Tsukiyama straightened his tie and stepped over to the other. He nudged the boy’s calf with his big toe and tilted his head when he realized the younger wasn’t getting up. He picked the younger up by his armpits and began to drag him down to the basement.

He would admit his feelings soon enough.

Tsukiyama placed the needle onto his Beethoven record and waved his hands to the beat of the music as if he was conducting. Requiem: Lacrimosa Dies Illa; one of his absolute favourites. He looked across the basement to his lover, his arms and legs shackled to the wall looking positively helpless.

“Tsukiyama, p-please let me go. I won’t tell anyone anything, I swear! I won’t tell a single person, Tsukiyama, you know I won’t.” He pleaded in a small, pathetic voice.

Shuu tilted his head to the side and furrowed his brows mockingly. “Why would I do something like that, Kaneki? I need to keep you with me until you admit that you love me.”

The boy was taken aback by that statement. “What? That’s what this is about? Tsukiyama, I don’t love you yet but I could have! If you had given me more time I might have loved you!”

Might? Could have? He was acting as if there was a chance he wouldn’t. 

Shuu laughed a little, though he wasn’t at all amused by the implications of the boy’s words. “Kaneki, of course you love me. We were created specifically for each other. As the angels sewed me together limb by limb in the warmth of the womb they whispered stories of you. It’s the same for you, mon petit. Our purpose in life was to find each other, I’m certain of it. Now I have you; all I need is for you to realize what I have. I may have been enlightened first because I am so much older...Perhaps I should keep you down here until you’re my age?”

That seemed to be Kaneki’s breaking point because his eyes blazed with fury and confusion. How Tsukiyama wished to always stare into those eyes; they were just so wide, so goddamn expressive...

“Tsukiyama Shuu are you insane? We weren’t made for one another! We aren’t meant to be! We dated and that’s it! That doesn’t mean anything! I dated someone when I was in the eighth grade, that doesn’t mean we were meant for one another! You’re a fucking psycho, Shuu! What the hell is wrong with you?” Kaneki cried out, pulling against his restraints.  
Shuu’s eye twitched at the boy’ onslaught, but he composed himself once more. “Surely you don’t mean that, Kaneki Ken. I know you feel what I feel. You love me; it’s only a matter of time until you realize that.”

“I DON’T LOVE YOU! I WILL NEVER LOVE YOU! I DON’T EVEN WANT TO DATE YOU ANYMORE!” Kaneki screamed, finally having been pushed far past his limits. 

Tsukiyama grit his teeth and narrowed his eyes at the other. How could he say something like that? He could feel rage building inside of him as he glared as venomously as he could at Kaneki. He had to make the younger see reason before he, himself flipped his lid.

“Kaneki, I would kill anyone who ever hurt you, do you understand? That man who touched you without your permission in the book shop that day? I killed him. I slit his throat and ate him that night, Kaneki. He’ll never bother you again. Do you understand? I’d do anything for you.” He was teetering somewhere between rage and desperation. If Kaneki didn’t respond positively, he would lose it.

Kaneki stared, horrified at the elder as his cheeks tinged green. He hung his head and dry heaved, the noises echoing off of the cement walls around them. How could he react this way? How dare Kaneki think so little of him? Had Shuu not supplied everything the boy had ever needed? Money, food, a place to stay, an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on; had that not been enough for him? How could he be so selfish?

Shuu saw nothing but red. How dare he? Did he think he was so great? Adrenaline coursing through his veins heavier than blood, he decided to ‘lower’ his little bunny to his level.  
“You think you’re so fucking great.” He growled, his entire frame trembling as he pressed his shackled lover against the wall. Kaneki was going to pay. He was going to feel everything Tsukiyama did. “You’re fucking nothing without me, Kaneki Ken.” 

The boy struggled and screamed bloody murder, but it did no good because Tsukiyama already hooked his pointer and middle finger into the socket of Kaneki’s left eye. He was sobbing and trembling, thrashing about in a desperate attempt to get the elder off of him. 

With a cruel smirk, Tsukiyama popped Kaneki’s eye out of the socket. He boy’s toes curled and his back arched away from the elder. He looked similar to the way he did when he climaxed. Tsukiyama pressed his hard-on against the boy’s stomach, forcing him to feel exactly how he made him feel. 

“There’s something I’ve been curious about,” Tsukiyama hissed as he pulled his switchblade from his pocket. “Can you still see out this eye? Hm?” He picked the eye up between his fingers and forced Kaneki to stare at himself. The optic nerve looked fleshy and bloody, not unlike the umbilical cord. 

“Can you fucking see yourself, Kaneki? Do you see how beautiful you look? Do you see how fucking pretty you are, hm? Do you see why I can’t fucking help myself now? Can you, Kaneki?” He shrieked with a manic smile on his face. His words tumbled out of his mouth in a strange mixture of languages. Some words came out Japanese, some English and some French. It was utter chaos.

Kaneki continued to scream, his voice and Shuu’s melding together in perfect harmony. It was the greatest song he had ever heard. 

He craved more.

With a practiced skill, Shuu took the blade of his knife to the optic nerve and severed it. Kaneki’s screams came out louder and more guttural than before. He tried to claw at Tsukiyama to get him off, but it was to no avail, the chains held his arms high above his head, rendering them useless. He could feel the younger attempt to kick him as well, but of course they were chained as well. He couldn’t have the boy attacking him while he was in the midst of disciplining, could he?

Tsukiyama forced the other’s eye into his mouth while Kaneki screamed. To keep the boy from spitting it back out, he covered his mouth and plugged his nose. He watched with wild eyes as Kaneki’s face contorted into one of disgust and panic. The severed, bloody nerve thrashed about his face as he tried to get himself out of Shuu’s grasp.

“Ah-ah-ah, Kaneki,” he growled, unable to keep the feral smirk from his face. “You have to eat. Fucking CHEW!” 

Finally, when his face was tinged a concerning mixture of green and purple, he began to chew. Tears streamed down his cheeks, mixing with the blood. Tsukiyama could hear the satisfying squelch of the eye being bitten in half. He could feel Kaneki begin to gag, but he kept his hand against the boy, his thumb crushing his nose. After what felt like an hour, Kaneki swallowed, his body trembling with the force of his sobs.

Tsukiyama pulled his hand away before forcing the boy’s mouth open. It was all gone. Every single trace of the orb was gone. He immediately began on positive reinforcement. He stroked the boy’s hair and whispered soft, kind words of encouragement. He brushed his lips along the other’s tear stained cheeks and tasted the saltiness of the tears and the rusty flavour of blood. 

Kaneki tasted delicious.

“I’m jealous, Kaneki,” Shuu purred as he licked his lips free of the blood, “I wish I could taste more of you.”

It wasn’t until Wednesday, May 7th, 2014, 2:31pm that Kaneki finally relented. He finally admit his feelings after months of vehement protestation or resilient silence. To finally hear those words coming from the younger’s mouth was like music to Tsukiyama’s ears. He could listen to the boy say it all day. But of course, he couldn’t do that. So instead, he decided to reward Kaneki.

He took the boy down from the chains, bathed him (being sure to scrub all of the grime from him) and dressed him properly. Once completely cleaned (and given an eye patch to cover up the glass blue eye Tsukiyama had gotten from a taxidermist in the middle of February) Tsukiyama took the younger’s hand and took him out into the city for a nice date.  
They spent the afternoon poking around different shops and sitting in parks just talking. Well, Tsukiyama did all of the talking, but he was sure Kaneki wouldn’t mind; the boy was being uncharacteristically quiet. When dinner time finally came, they went into one of the more expensive restaurants, compliments of Shuu, of course. 

Kaneki seemed to be on auto-pilot, eating, nodding, letting out quiet sounds of affirmation and taking a sip of his drink. The sparkle in his eye that Tsukiyama loved so much was missing. Where had it gone? Why had it gone? Did Kaneki not want to be there? Would he have preferred a smaller, less expensive place to eat?

When they arrived back at Tsukiyama’s place, they stripped down and made love repeatedly through the night. Kaneki lay there leaving Shuu to do the work, not that the elder minded, it was just somewhat uncharacteristic. Where had the moans gone? Where was the arching of his back, the pleading and whimpering as he grew closer and closer to finishing? 

When Tsukiyama went to sleep after he had been thoroughly sated, a feeling of dread gripped at his stomach. Kaneki was acting so out of character, what was wrong with him? He tucked the boy in and placed feather light kisses along the back of his neck wordlessly before allowing sleep to finally take him under. 

Tuesday, October 28th, 5:39am is when everything finally went to shit. The rain crashed against the windows like little bullets, threatening to smash through the glass and soak everything Tsukiyama had ever held dear. But why had he woken up so early? And why was Kaneki not beside him?

It was then he heard Kaneki mumbling in the other room to himself. He furrowed his brows and began to groggily pad towards the bathroom to ask his little bunny what in the world he was doing. He pushed the door open slowly and shielded his eyes from the light. 

“Kaneki?” He asked his voice scratchy from sleep.

The smell was the first thing that hit him. It reeked of chemicals; his nose burnt just standing in the same room as it. Hair dye perhaps? His eyes finally adjusted to the light, so he let his hand drop to his side and stared wide eyed in shock at Kaneki whose hair was as white as a ghost. He had taken his eye patch off and smashed the glass eye, the remnants of the icy blue pupil scattered along the bathroom counter. That, however, wasn’t the most troublesome part. 

Kaneki was holding a butcher’s knife, smiling manically at his reflection.

“Kaneki, what are you doing?” Shuu asked incredulously as he took a small step closer to the boy.

The boy cracked his knuckles and let out a crazed laugh. What in the hell had happened to his little Kaneki? Where was the blush on his cheeks? He looked as pale as sin. Why was he clutching a knife? Why did he dye his hair? Why did he take his eye out?

As Tsukiyama pondered these questions, Kaneki whipped around and as easy as cutting through butter, he stabbed the elder right in the gut; mere inches above his navel. Tsukiyama doubled over and stared at Kaneki in shock. Why would his little rabbit do this to him? He looked down at the knife, not really believing what was happening. He watched as Kaneki slid the knife down his belly button, stopping an inch above his flaccid cock.

Tsukiyama couldn’t feel the pain. He felt numbness, he felt his warm blood against his skin, but that was all. He stumbled around the bathroom a little before falling to the floor, staring up at the boy through his fuzzy gaze.

“K-Kaneki?” His voice was weak; quiet.

Kaneki straddled his hips and tore his shirt open, ignoring the other completely. Once exposed, Kaneki thrust his hand into the bloody wound and felt around the elder’s entrails. That Tsukiyama could feel. It didn’t feel as painful as he would have thought; instead it simply felt awkward and uncomfortable. 

Shock, perhaps?

“Count backwards from a thousand by seven.” Kaneki ordered in an even voice before pulling out a bit of Tsukiyama’s small intestine. 

It was like he was having an out of body experience. His vision was slowly going black, even the warmth of his blood soaking his torso and leaking onto the bathroom floor was cooling. What was he to do? He counted down slowly, breathlessly, waiting for death to take him. The last thing Tsukiyama Shuu saw was Kaneki Ken’s pale face stained crimson with his blood, chewing at his entrails.


End file.
